…I wanted to tell her that investing in popularity carries with it the same amount of safety and stability as investing one’s life’s savings on the stock market. Highs and highs and devastating losses. Continue reading

let it suck … I mean, be

“Does this require some sort of trip to the lady’s aisle?…Some days just suck. You gotta take it like that. You gotta ride it out and then get back to awesome.” Continue reading

enough (i’ve had it)

One recent Sunday, I ran into a couple that I haven’t seen in a while. Things have been a bit strained, somewhat awkward whenever I have seen them, though at one time, we were quite cheerfully connected. Not close, not … Continue reading

Well, that was odd

This isn’t the first time I’ve had to step in for the sake of justice. There was that time at the Ghetto Mall when I pursued a hooligan, intent on making a Citizen’s Arrest (it’s a lot harder than you’d think!). There was the time I tried to stop a shop-lifter at Shopper’s Drug Mart. There’s that… well, trust me, there are things that happen out there when you think you’re just nicely shopping, and people like me are undercover, not minding their own business. Continue reading

stupid girls

They’re all “Bachelor Man, I really love you. Like really love. You, Bachelor Man. I love you. Please look at me. Bachelor Man? Say it back. Please? You love me more than you love Crazy the Psycho Girl, right? Bachelor Man? Have you seen my boobs, Bachelor Man?” From there, it progresses like this: all but three finalists are weeded out and saved from the rest of the humiliation which comes with being a finalist. Continue reading

it’s not happening

If you have been stalked and hunted by memories of a predator, if your hope has been swallowed in years of silent screams, if hope has long ago left your vision, please, please, do not suffer silently.

There are those who will listen. Continue reading

how to save a life

Here is what your signs, your piercing eyes, your shouting at me “Don’t turn your head from this child!” has done: You have ripped scabs off of wounds in my heart that have taken almost twenty years to heal. You have shaken me to the core of a sorrow that you clearly do not understand—if you did, you would not be parading along the street in your cloak of self-appointed righteousness. Continue reading

mean girls

The playground. The park. The beach. The mall. The bus. The Internet. The office. The church. The … everywhere. You’ll find them, or they will find you.

Shame will cut through you one day when you realize that you, too, can be a Mean Girl if you allow yourself to be drawn in by its power and position. Continue reading

punch it out

I signed a form which promised me that. It wasn’t “you might, sometime, possibly get a bit hurt”. It was “Lady, you’re going to get fists in your face, your stomach, your arms, your ear, your cute little nose that you love so much, and possibly, even in the fancy girly bits. If you don’t like that, don’t play”. Continue reading

my scarlet letters

While I have sought, as best I can to take responsibility for my failings, I will not own what isn’t mine to carry. I won’t own what sins or blame have been cast upon me over the years because others have wanted to deflect their own shame and fear. Continue reading